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(Shepard encounters a Human, Turian and Salarian
sitting at a table at Illium)
(An Asari dancer is on the table,
doing a strip-tease type dance as all three watch)
Salarian: I still don't see why we're here. Salarians do not "get married." My family simply negotiated a reproduction contract--
Human: Whatever. It's the closest you guys get to a wedding. And that means you get a bachelor party. End of story.
Salarian: I don't understand. Humans celebrate wedding contracts by tempting infidelity? That makes no sense!
Human: Calm down, man! Don't embarrass me in front of the stripper.
Salarian: What do turians do? Do turians do this, too?
Turian: I'm just here for the drinks.
Salarian: You said that bachelor parties are for very close friends. We're just co-workers.
Human: We've been co-workers for five years, though. Aren't salarian years like dog years?
Salarian: Okay, now -- that's offensive.
Salarian: I appreciate the gesture, but my people don't even have sex drives the way humans do.
Human: Uh-huh. Take a look at that, man. Everybody likes the asari. Everybody.
Salarian: But we actually reproduce by... my word, she is very... limber. I can appreciate her dancing in an aesthetic manner, but... I don't have... feelings of... hmm... she is a lovely shade of blue.
Turian: Okay, that makes my legs hurt just watching it, and my knees are meant to bend that way.
Salarian: This isn't as bad as I had feared. It's actually... i-is it warm in here?
Human: Okay, you see that bit there?
Salarian: The little divot in her abdomen?
Human: It's called a belly button. Humans and asari have them, and you're going to be doing shots out of it later tonight.
Turian: That can't be sanitary.
Human: Not the point, man!
Salarian: I can understand why I might find asari attractive. But how can they be attractive to humans, too? They look just like salarians!
Human: What? They look exactly like us! I'm... I'm not seeing the salarian thing at all. At all.
Turian: You're both wrong. Asari look just like blue turians. Look at the head-fringe!
Human: Wait. You don't think they're, like, mind-controlling us to see them as attractive, do you?
Turian: Please be quiet. You're going to ruin asari for me. And there aren't many turian women on Illium.
Salarian: Well, I suppose watching just one more dance wouldn't hurt.
Human: Ha-ha-ha! That's the spirit!
Turian: As long as I'm not paying for the drinks.